by Kathy Brodsky, LCSW
I’m not one of those people who swoon over actors and actresses or even follow entertainment news. However, when the marriage of Brad and Angelina was announced, I had to watch to see how the media would identify their children.
Sure as shootin’ – one network mentioned their adopted children as part of the ceremony. Really? How was adoption part of this ceremony? If they were their birth children - Would they have walked differently? Dressed differently? Played a different role?
Another network simply stated that their 6 children were present for the ceremony. No special identification. Just kids at their parents’ marriage ceremony. All part of the special day.
When do our kids stop being called “adopted children”? For us parents, we introduce them as our kids. No one says – “This is my adoptive child”. “This is my IVF baby”. “This is my daughter from another mother”.
When did you hear a kid introduce themselves as “I am the adoptive child of Mary and Steve?” “I was the miracle baby my parents spent $100,000 and 10 IVF cycles on untill they got me?” “ I was carried by a surrogate, but that’s my mom over there?”
These are our kids. They are not someone else’s. They are not our “own” and our “other” kids. They don’t belong to someone else.
Whether they are Brad and Angelina’s or mine or yours or your neighbors – they are our kids. Maybe one day the world will recognize them and us for what we are – moms, dads, daughters and sons – we are family.
Kathy Ann Brodsky, LCSW is a social worker, adoptive mom and advocate for ethical adoption practice. She has a private practice in New York City and is Director of the Ametz Adoption Program of JCCA. She has counseled and prepared adoptive homestudies for thousands of families. She can be reached at