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Wonky Fertility
January 28, 2009 - Wednesday
Posted by Corey
How do you fit 60 women into a room meant to accommodate 25? You don’t simply offer them the promise of a free manicure, that’s for sure. But boy, if you throw in the opportunity to listen to a renowned fertility expert like Jamie Grifo, speaking about infertility prevention? Now there’s a recipe that will fill a room. There’s a recipe that will even rival the sumptuous elixir we now call a Fertilitini.
A beautiful, young crowd of women poured into Dashing Diva last night. 35 of them weren’t registered but also weren’t taking no for an answer. Ten of them didn’t even want a manicure, they just wanted to listen. And listen they did. They asked questions significant to their generation - concerns they had about their current birth control use, std prevention, environmental toxins, and more. One woman, maybe 23? 24? Shiny ponytail and great boots. Chose Simply Red as her nail polish color. She wanted to know if her irregular periods were a sign of wonky fertility. Wonky fertility? Can’t say I’ve ever heard a patient use that term before!
But it was their faces that really got me. I was worried in the beginning, worried that they would chatter among themselves, or focus on the nail polish colors, that sort of thing. But no. They were enrapt. They were engaged. They were CHANGED. We had them fill out an exit questionnaire and leave it with us - questions like, did you learn anything? If so, what? Will you modify your behaviors based on what you learned? What we got back was more than a check list of dogged January resolutions. It was a thumbnail glimpse into the lives of women - young women who feel motivated to use condoms, finally, because they understand at last that Chlamydia is dangerous for them. Women who will pay more attention to the chemicals listed on labels.
Some of these women want to know more about egg freezing, right now. Some want to find better singles bars so that they can meet Mr. Right a little faster! And some want to continue to focus on their lives right as they are now, thank you very much. But all with a little more knowledge, a little more understanding, and maybe, a little more acceptance and love of their bodies, their femaleness, and their futures.
None of them left panicked, instead, empowered. All of them were moved, and truly happy to be there, and grateful for the information.
I myself am grateful to be part of the team that is bringing them this information. I am grateful because I know that some of these women will have an easier road, maybe even a happier life, because of an hour that they spent in a nail salon.
Best,
Corey Whelan
Director of Development
Categories
Family Building •
Fertility •
Fertility Preservation
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Yes We Can
January 20, 2009 - Tuesday
Posted by Ken
I write this on the eve of the most historic election that most of us will experience in our lifetime. I write this as an American, reflecting on a uniquely American event. I write knowing that this evening, my friends in London and Paris and Amsterdam, and millions more around the world, consider themselves Americans, too.
I am filled with hope the likes of which I cannot remember. Something has changed. Something tangible and yet undefinable. But something has most definitely changed. I notice it in conversations overheard these past few days. “Can you believe it?” “It’s really happening, isn’t it?” Young, old, female, male, black, white, gay, straight, Democratic and Republican - everyone, even in Phoenix, the home of Senator McCain - is vibrating with hope.
As I was watching the pre-inaugural events today, I was inspired. Called forth to service. I got that, in a very visceral sense, we are standing in the midst of history being made. And that we are the ones who, during this critical period of time, are determining just how history will be shaped. It is in OUR hands.
In my New Year’s message in our eNewsletter, I stated the following: 2009: All. Things. Are. Possible.
And indeed they are.
May we, as a people, be inspired and called forth to service. And may we all answer that call. We owe ourselves and each other nothing less.
Happy Inauguration Day! May God bless the United States of America.
Ken
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Falling In Love with the Women of New York
January 16, 2009 - Friday
Posted by Corey
I always knew we were fabulous. Let’s face it, we’re New York women. OK, now that I’m done channeling my inner Carrie, I want to share a little bit about how moving it has been to speak to the women who are gearing up to attend the first Manicures & Martinis event in Gramercy Park. They are amazing. Some of them giggle when they talk about their boyfriends and the future. Some of them don’t dare to dream that Mr. Right will ever show up. But they all want to be Mommys someday. And they are turning to us to help them figure out how to do it.
Most of them are registering in two’s - sisters, cousins, bff’s. One woman called me to register her daughter, her niece, and her daughter’s best friend. And they all have dream jobs. Doctors, advertising gurus, veterinarians.
Already I have a favorite, but don’t tell anybody. Amy. I wanted to put out some brochures at a store called Brooklyn Industries. So I asked the cashier if it was ok if I did that. Blonde, tall, she has a really pretty earring of a daisy in her nose, the kind I would have chosen if I was 20 instead of, you know. She said I couldn’t put them out, because all handouts in the store had to be approved by corporate. I said ok, but here’s a brochure for you and your friends, just in case. And then of course I went to look at the clothes. And I hear what I now recognize to be that tremulous, slightly afraid but brave voice; I hear it on the phone a lot these days. “Miss? I think this is really something I need to go to. Can you register me?” Yes Amy, I can register you.
And of course there is the wonderful woman who had the courage to register to attend the event…..in my therapists’s waiting room.
I always knew this program was needed but I didn’t know how much. The truth is, I could run at least one of these events in every city in this country for a year; not every state, but every city, and still not reach all the women who want to come.
I am looking forward to falling in love with the women of Minneapolis, Austin, LA, Philly, Denver, everywhere this year. And I’m a little relieved for them, because I think they needed us more than we ever knew.
Here’s to the women of New York. Here’s to women everywhere.
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Peace and Harmony
January 13, 2009 - Tuesday
Posted by Lisa
I attended my dear friend Mary’s Memorial Service in Minneapolis over the weekend. You may be wondering what a funeral is doing on a fertility blog, but it occurred to me that this blog, this organization, The AFA, is not only about fertility, but it’s about infertility prevention, and getting pregnant and having a healthy baby and adoption and choosing to live child free. It’s about helping everything to go right and about dealing with life when things don’t.
It’s about raising kids, as parents or godparents or mentors or teachers. It’s about saying hello and saying goodbye because the only way out of this life is through death, whenever it comes. In short, it’s about our existence as human beings.
Though we may focus on one particular area – fertility – truth be told, it all co-exists and there is no separating it. Watching parents bury their child, watching children bury their mom, seeing pregnant women in the congregation, hearing the cry of babies, all of it made me realize so deeply that nothing operates in a vacuum. Single, married or partnered, parents, intended parents or not parents, straight, gay, young, old, we are all so deeply tied together. And yet we so often look for the ways in which we can differentiate and discriminate.
My deepest hope for all of us is that we come to understand that our individual journeys are all part of the human journey, and that the journey can be made infinitely better if we support each other on the way. Whatever your deepest desires, may they be realized, and may we, as an organization, as The AFA, help you, in some way. And may we all have the grace and decency to care for each other, to lift each other up and to celebrate the journey together.
Best always,
Ken Mosesian
Executive Director
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Let’s hear from the youth!
January 12, 2009 - Monday
Posted by Lisa
Well it’s been quite a while since I’ve written for the AFA with all the action of the holidays and the anticipation of college acceptance. I should be hearing from my potential colleges in the next two weeks, and could not be more anxious to know where I will be spending the next four years of my life - it’s a pretty big deal. Anyway, I thought I’d update the readers on what exactly is going on with the youth population and The AFA. I’ve been in contact with Mr. Brian Armentrout and have discussed having a webpage devoted to children, like myself, who are willing to, or need help discussing their situations involving fertility It will also be a place for the youth to just express their thoughts on the concept of fertility as a whole. I’m real excited to see how this project unfolds, as it will really open the lines of communication between The AFA, and the youth - something that has not really been done before.
If you are familiar with facebook, a group has been set up to attract potential visitors to this youth website. You can either find it on my list of groups, or at this link: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=44649446524. I hope everyone had a great holiday and kicked off 2009 right! I will keep you all updated on the youth project as the weeks pass by.
Thanks for your time!
John Taylor
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