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Foster Care: The Art of Becoming a Family

May 16, 2006 - Tuesday
7:19 PM to (EST)
Guest Speakers: Sarah Gerstenzang, MSW
Ass't Director, The Collaboration to Adopt-Us-Kids

Categories
Adoption • Foster Care


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Sarah Thanks very much! I look forward to all of your questions!
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Sarah In fact, the number of parents adopting from the foster care system is increasing. However, many people still have the misperception that this is a difficult way to adopt or that children would be returned to their birth parents.
loisabarrett thanks
Sarah Our work at AdoptUskids is to recruit more foster and adoptive parents and to "normalize" this route to adoption.
Sarah First, let me clarify that foster parenting and adopting are different things. Foster parents take care of children temporalily. About half of the children who come into foster care return to their birth parents.
Sarah If birth parents do not meet their obligations after about a year, the court can move to terminate their rights and then these children are freed for adoption.
deb_capone So the children who come into foster care are not necessarily available for adoption at the get go, right?
Sarah Many of these children are adopted by the foster parents who care for them. Waiting children are those without foster parents or relatives to care for them.
deb_capone so the 118k are waiting children?
Sarah Yes. That is true in the majority of cases. And yes, the 118K are waiting.
deb_capone is 'waiting children' an acronym for special needs?
deb_capone and older children?
Sarah Sometimes people use it that way. But I don't because it is confusing. The children who are waiting are in many situations. Some are sibling groups. Some have physical disabilities, etc.
loisabarrett Sarah. Could you walk us through the process of adopting through foster care?
deb_capone What about young children or infants. Are they available for adoption?
Sarah Sometimes there are young children or infants but the average age of a waiting child is 8.6 years.
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Sarah The process differs somewhat by state but basically a parent needs to find an agency, attend training and have a homestudy done before being matched with a child. Our 800 number is 1-888-200-4005 and if you call, we will send you a basic information packet and connect you with a recruitment response team in your state.
Sarah This too varies but it is possible within one year.
Sarah Children come into care when their parents aren't caring for them safely - either abusing or neglecting them or both.
loisabarrett What kinds of costs are involved.
Sarah There are so many types children that this is a hard question to answer. Some children may be severe handicapped. Others may be quite healthy. Obviously children who have spent years in difficult circumstances may have emotional scars that they need to recover from with a supportive parent.
Sarah Adoption from foster care is free. Children who are older, have siblings or have emotional or physical challenges are often eligible for monthly adoption assistance and medicaid.
Sarah To finalize the adoption, yes. However, our lawyer was subsidized.
Sarah Getting back to the types of children - one great thing about adopting from foster care is it is a process where you slowly learn about the child/ren you are interested in. Before you meet the child/ren, you know a lot about whether this would be a situation that is comfortable for you.
Sarah You need to be healthy enough to care for the child to adulthood. You need to be able to cover your expenses. You need to be over 21.
Sarah Many, but not all, children are photolisted. We have more than 4,000 children on our site - adoptuskids.org and there are state sites as well. This gives the prospective parent an "introduction" to the child/ren. Parents can then contact the agency to learn more about children they are interested in. Once the agency receives interest from a family who has been licensed to adopt, they can make the decision as to whether the family can meet the child's needs.
Sarah Once a child is matched with a family, they meet each other and begin a slow visiting process - often depending on where they each live and the child's needs.
Sarah Once the adoption is finalized, many agencies have post adoption services to help the family.
Sarah Again the process varies but in general, initial visits would be facilitated and then gradually become more independent with the child eventually sleeping over for the weekend, etc. Visits are sometimes initially held at McDonalds, etc. and then later would be planned by the prospective parent.
Sarah The children would only meet with prospective parents who are very sure that this is a child they could parent. But yes, sometimes (rarely) they don't end in a family and that is hard for the children - but better than either not ever finding a family or learning that it is not a good fit after the adoption is finalized.
Sarah Many parents that I have spoken to say that they could have adopted many different children. That they have found that it is the bonding process and taking the responsibility for meeting the child's needs that makes them the parent.
Sarah Sure. My husband and I initally became foster parents. We hadn't realized how often children become available for adoption. Our first placement was a five-week old baby - whom we later adopted at 2.9 years.
Sarah Our daughter is African American and we are white. Initially we worried about the transracial aspect of the adoption but I now regard this as entirely secondary to meeting her needs as her parents - black or white!
Sarah The majority of children adopted from foster care are adopted by their foster parents.
Sarah It is hard to be the middleman - supporting the birth parents, etc. But it is also very rewarding.
Sarah Once the adoption is finalized, it is completely up to the adoptive parents - whether they want contact or think it is appropriate. In our situation, we do have some open contact with half-sisters and the birth mother.
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Sarah This again varies tremendously. However, it may include counseling, respite care, help accessing special education services, etc. We have never used them personally but I know many families value them - depending on their children's needs.
Sarah I would recommend that any prospective parent be sure that they are given all available information about a child. I would also ask agencies if you could speak to other families who have adopted children to get a sense of their experience. I would ask how long each step of the process takes. And finally, if the child/ren would receive adoption assistance and how much it would be each month. This varies by state - and can be a few hundred dollars/ month or much more if the child have many needs.
Sarah Learn as much as you can from other parents who have experienced this avenue to adoption. It is one of the most rewarding things that I have done with my life!
Sarah Thank you all for "listening." It has been a pleasure!
Sarah General adoption/foster care information - 888-200-4005
Sarah My number is 718-369-7363 or sgerstenzang@adoptuskids.org.
loisabarrett No, but thank you Sarah. Very informative.
merlin Thank you Sarah.
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