International Adoption - Is it a good choice for you?

February 21, 2006 - Tuesday
7:54 PM to (EST)
Guest Speakers: Cathleen Danowski, M.Ed and MSW
Director of Social Services, New Beginnings Children and Family Services

Categories
Adoption • International Adoption

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s9	Thank you so much for making the educational sessions so accessible, in the comfort of my home!
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cathy	Good evening everyone! I am so happy to be with you tonight.
Beth	Thanks for being here!
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cathy	When you decide to build your family through international adoptions, you must consider a number of factors. Number one is Are you comfortable with having a visibly adoptive family?
Aruna	Thanks for the welcome. I'm excited about tonight's topic.
tenayagirl2	hi
cathy	Number two, you must consider not only yourselves, but your extended family as well. This child will not only join you, but your extended family too.
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tenayagirl2	i am new--would someone please adivse me of protocol--if i would like to post a question, do i go ahead, or what steps? thanks
Aruna	And I'm assuming Cathy, that we also have to be ready to deal with the comments people will make. I think that all of us who have been through fertility issues are aware that complete strangers feel compelled to comment on your parenting status.
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cathy	Normally in international adoption, the child joining the family does not look like the adoptive parents. This is not true with an adoption from Eastern Europe in many cases, but adoptions from other countries such as China, Korea, Vietnam will be visible to anyone who sees your family.
s9	in terms of a visibly adoptive family, this can happen with any adoption, and we and our family have to be ready to accept that.
magic	What is the time frame when adopting from Russia, presently?
s9	my understanding of international adoption is that i have to pick a certain country that i want to be internationally certified in. is that true?
cathy	You are absolutely right. Our society has become more open-minded but there is still a great deal of prejudice or people who just assume that they have the right to make comments about the way our family has grown.
cathy	When adopting from Russia, the time frame is about one year from start to finish.
tenayagirl2	i am very intrested in your experience w/ korean adoption, cathy. when u have finished your general comments, would u possibly , if time allows, give an overview of korean adoption and/or post some specific links about korean? i understand that the babies are brought here, rather than the adoptive parents travellingto a foreign country--is that tru of any other country?
s9	also, i was told, that certain countries are easier than others. do you if this is certain?
Beth	My partner and I have been ttc for over 2 years now, the frustration and medical costs (physical and financial) are taking it's toll. My concern is actually having the ability to adopt internationally. Our state is one of 16 currently trying to ban gay adoption. Can you give me an idea of what our chance may be and which countries do not discriminate against gay adoption? In answer to your questions 1 and 2, yes we have though and discussed both of these important issues.
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cathy	The necessary paperwork in international adoption is country specific. THerefore, you should make up your mind about which country you are interested in pursuing an adoption from.
cathy	You don't want to have to duplicate paperwork if not necessary.
fchilwan	Glad to be here
fchilwan	I have a couple of questions relating to intl adoption
magic	Cathy, are you saying that New Beginings is stating from starting of paperwork to bringing a child home from Russia that it is a total of 1 year?
Beth	what is warning err 3585
cathy	EAch country has there own policy regarding adoption by gay or lesbian couples.
fchilwan	I am a Canadian Citizen living and working on a work permit here.
fchilwan	Am I able to adopt from overseas?
cathy	You would have to check the regulations of the country. Fewer and fewer countries are permitting adoption by same sex couples at this time.
cathy	basically yes..it is one year from start to finish, by that i mean that your first piece of paper until you're home with the child.
cathy	some cases may go faster but this is an average
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fchilwan	Does the AFA have adoption lawyers that I may speak to?
Aruna	Cathy, I know it is challenging to address everyone's questions, so please feel free to take your time responding to mine. What should my family be considering when deciding if intl adoption is right for us? I have one biological child (6 years old) and have been unable to conceive again. The main concerns about our ability to adopt is that I have Lupus (SLE) and am worried that this would prevent us from being able to grow our family through adoption. Do you know if foreign governments would permit or discriminate based upon my having a chronic illness? Also, due to my illness, travelling overseas would be more difficult for my husband and I - are there countries that allow delivery or do all require a stay in the home country?
magic	I have friends that have been waiting for over a year with Russia through New Beginings and each and every time they call they are told a different story about Russia and are delayed again - this is my concern about having 1 idea in your head and then have disappointment after disappointment.
cathy	in order to adopt a child through the US, at least one person must be a US citizen. if you are single, you couldn't adopt internationally unless you are a US citizen. You should try to look into agencies in Canada and then you could bring the child into the US after the adoption.
fchilwan	thank you
go2kara	Hi Cathy, I am 39 and Hubby is 51 is international the way to go for us? And which country?l
cathy	Aruna, each country has different regulations concerning the health of the adoptive parents. A country such as Korea, would not accept Lupus as a health concern, but other countries might.
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s9	is the paperwork for international adoption easier if i am certified as an adoptive parent in the USA?
cathy	You should also know that some countries such as China will allow one parent to travel to complete the adoption with a power of attorney from the other parent.
Beth	What is the best way to find an international adoption agency which meets your needs?
tenayagirl2	cathy, where would a person go to find out what the max age of parent and also the restrictions of chronic illness are for each country?
cathy	magic, unfortunately, adoptions in Russia have been going through many changes over the last year. IF your friends would like to call New Beginnings, I would be happy to talk with them about their specific case.
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cathy	go2Kara, you certainly can consider international adoption. A country such as China would consider your case. Vietnam is also possible.
Beth	Cathy, are you familiar with adoptions from Guatemala?
cathy	many countries base their decision to place a child with a family by the adoptive mother's age.
cathy	You should check each country's requirements.
tenayagirl2	how do we do that?
cathy	You certainly can consider international adoption as a way to build your family.
magic	Cathy, in your opinion, what are the major health issues to be concerned about as an adoptive parent wishing to adopt from Russia/
downeykk	I have just joined the chat, ao I apologize if I am repeating a question.
go2kara	Thank You
downeykk	Have they re-opened adoption in Ukraine for children under 10 years old?
cathy	s9, being certified in the uSa is a start b/c you have had some clearances done already. but the majority of the paperwork is still country specific and you must add in the immigration part of the process.
cathy	beth, talk to other adoptive parents, join a adoptive parent support group such as AFA, APC, or FCC or FCE.
cathy	talking to other adoptive parents will be a good starting point.
cathy	then, begin to call agencies and talk to people there.
cathy	the requirements for each country are the same so your decision should really be the comfort level you have in working with the people at the agency.
Aruna	Thanks Cathy, for your help and advice. I know we are all interested in our particular situations, but I'm also wondering, what major, overall issues should we be considering in deciding if international adoption is right for us? If I've debated, discussed and considered your first two points about racial differences and adoption being apparent to others, what other points should we be examining? What are the real challenges to parenting a child adopted from overseas - what disappointments or failures in dealing with foreign policies do we need to prepare for?
magic	Aruna - I was thinking the same thing - great questions.
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cathy	tenayagirl2, you certainly can contact the consulates of each country here in the US. they can give you the adoption requirements for the country. you can also call any agency and speak to them about the countries they work with.
cathy	beth, re; guatemala, i have not personally worked with adoption from guatemala, but i do know that there are many young healthy children coming from guatelmala to loving families in the us
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cathy	magic, the best known health concern in russia is FAS (fetal alcohol sydrome).
Beth	I have heard this. Some of my friends recently adopted a baby boy and are trying to adopt again. Thanks for your help!
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fchilwan	Is counselling recommended prior to adopting?
magic	What is the age bracket of a child that you can adopt from Russia be?
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cathy	however, there are other concerns. FAE...fetal alcohol effect...can be a concern especially since it can not be detected as easily and as early in a child. You must also recognize that poor nutrition can be a problem witih some children coming from russia. it is hard to delineate between health concerns, social adjustment, and institutionalization many of the symptoms are the same and yet, must be met in different ways.
cathy	downeykk, sorry i am not aware of any changes in the ukraine.
downeykk	magic, from the info I have gathered, I seems that Russian children from 8 months to 16yrs are available. Maybe cathy can confirm this.
tenayagirl2	thank you for the suggestion of calling the consulates/agencies. frankly, just coming off my 2rd failed IVF, and being about to turn 44 and also having a chronic illness history (non-communicable), i am just dipping my toe in the water of adoption, but wondering who would even consider us? any other specific ideas?
magic	What is a total cost of adopting from Russia?
tenayagirl2	thank you, deb
cathy	Aruna: In deciding if int. adoption is right for you, think about the following: you will be working witih many institutions and gov'ts as you go through your process. To adopt internationally, you must meet the requirements of the state you live in, the US gov't, the gov't of the child's birth country, as well as provincial regulations for the area of the country your child comes from.
cathy	also realize that you may have to travel to the country of your child's birth. for some people, this is very hard and for others, it is an adventure.
Aruna	Tenayagirl2, you and I are in a similar boat. I too, am just beginning to dip my tow in the water of adoption and am wondering who would consider us. 8 years ago I went through the approval process for domestic adoption with the local Catholic Charities, and at the time, it was very competitive appealing to the young birth mothers. I don't think that now that I'm 35 and living with a chronic illness that I would have many 16 years old jumping at us as a first choice. Am thinking that maybe intl would be a better choice.
karen	I have the same question as tenayagirl2, 2 failed IVF, will be 44 this Saturday and my husband is 49. Do you think age would be a problem if adopting from China?
cathy	international adoption is affected by politics as wellso you must be ready to go with the flow as a country may change rules or regulations as you go through the process.
cathy	you should have a good working relationship with your placing agency so that they can help you with the possible ups and downs of the process.
s9	from your experience, or if anybody else has any ideas, which agency is the best one to start with?
cathy	after saying that, i must tell you that most int. adoptions go through with no glitches.
magic	I am aware of that Cathy that countries are affected by politics but I was under the impression that an agency that is acting on your behalf when adopting internationally is on top of what is going on in the countries they work with.
hope	what are the average costs in an international adoption and when does one start putting out major sums of money?
cathy	in regards to being over the age of 40, there are a variety of countries open to you.
downeykk	in your opinion is frua.org a reputable and informative web chat for eastern european adoption?
cathy	china, vietnam, some latin countries as well
cathy	you must realize that some countries and some agencies may advise that you take a child who is a little older such as perhaps a 12-18 mths old child rather than the youngest infant
cathy	DON"T GIVE UP
cathy	there are children in need of loving families and you can certainly be considered for such a placement
cathy	s9...what do you expect me to ssay?!!! of course i'll say that NEw beginnings..please call and we will be more than happy to talk to you about choices available to you even if it is not Neew beginnings to do the placement....516-747-2204
hope	I have friends who adopted from Guatamala and it turned out that the birth certificates were fabricated and showed the age of the child as being much younger than the real age-this was discovered by medical professionals in the US
magic	This is where the confusion comes in. If from start to finish it takes 1 year to bring a child home from Russia as you had stated early, if politics come into play with the country that you are adopting from then what??? Does it take 2 years - 5 years?
cathy	magic...ALL agencies should work in the best interest of the children and the adoptive parents. Agencies do try to stay on top of the conditions in each country they work with. Sometimes conditions can change and the agency does not have control over the country politics.
fchilwan	Does any one know anything about adopting from Kazakstan?
deb_capone	Magic, as a point of reference from start to finish, I had my daughter from China in 17 months....China is a bit faster now..
Beth	Cathy, do adoptive parents have any reecourse or rights if an error is found in the paperwork (childs actual age) etc?
hope	Cathy- it my understanding that some countries will only deal with a credited agencies. Is your agency approved in all countries?
cathy	hope...fees vary from country to country. this is due to the country's fees and the cost of travel to the country if necessary. no one should be paying large sums of money until they are matched with a child even if it is just the pictures and social history of the child. all fees should be presented to the adoptive family at the beginning of the process.
cathy	so that the family knows the financial expenses for the program
magic	What is required in fees to start the process let's say in Russia?
cathy	downeykk...i have known people involved with www.frua...com who are committed to adoption from russia and the ukraine. however any chat room involves many people with their own experiences and one must discern facts from personal bias
tenayagirl2	deb, so sorry to post this in room-i do not know how to connect with you directly--these questions may benefit all- how would we print out the transcript of this session -- also, how can we contact another person in this session for contact?
magic	If you are delayed from your travels to Russia and the future travels are still unknown, does New Beginings return sums deposited to the adoptive parents so that they can start their adoption path elsewhere?
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cathy	hope and beth...one would hope that paperwork would be totally correct, but human error can happen. i guess the bigger question is how do the adoptive parents feel about their child. does the child's age affect the love or attachment that they have for this child? perhaps a different age will affect expectations or schooling but not necesarrily the love between a child and parents. this may sound trite but it is true. paperwork can be corrrected in the US through gov't channels both here and in the child's birth country
deb_capone	No problem, tenayagirl.....the transcripts get posted about 10 days after each session and you can print them at that time. If you want to exchange contact with anyone in the session, you can click on their name in the left hand column and talk to them directly.
cathy	hope...each agency is approved in specific countries. these are the countries the agency will work with. call an agecny and ask which countries they work with.
deb_capone	Another good online resource for information on adoption agencies is www.adoption.com
cathy	magic...most agencies will have an application fee for any process. New Beginnings application fee is $50
downeykk	Cathy does the agency have to be registered in the state where the adoptive parent resides?
cathy	thi s is no matter what country you hope to adopt from
magic	Never thought to ask that - Is New Beginnings acredited in Russia?
cathy	magic...each agency has a refund policy which would be given to a family in the beginning of a process. New Beginnings would certainly work to help a family move into another program if their original program is no longer availbable to them.
cathy	downeykk...an agency must be licensed in a state to do a homestudy. if you wish to use an agency for a specific country adoption and they are not licensed in your state, normally the agency will work cooperatively with a licensed agency in your state to do the homestudy.
cathy	magic...New Beginnings has a cooperative agreement with an accredited agency in Russia. We work together to do placements from Russia.
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deb_capone	We are about out of time. I want to thank Cathy for answering our questions.
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hope	thank you
fchilwan	thank you Cathy
magic	Thanks Cathy for your help.
deb_capone	Cathy, do you have any closing comments and can you give us your contact info in case someone wants to get a hold of you.
downeykk	thank you
fchilwan	Thank you AFA for arranging for this
s9	thank you so much for your invaluable information and your time
magic	Deb - Thank You also
cathy	In regards to Korean adoptions..please contact me at New BEginnings and I will be happy to discuss korean adoptions especially bc of my wonderful expericnecs with my famil.y
karen	this was a great source of information. Thanks!
s9	thank you AFA for allowing this to happen
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Beth	deb, transripts of past chats haven't been posted in over a month. could you check on this? thanks:)
cathy	Contact Info: www.new_beginnings.org 516-747-2204
cathy	email: newbeginn@aol.com
magic	Homework ahead and education to do about DOMESTIC adoptions VS INTERNATIONAL adoption. Thanks again.
deb_capone	Thanks for the heads up, Beth. I will rattle some cages...
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deb_capone	Magic, you might want to look at our past sessions...we have done several sessions on domestic adoption.
cathy	Thank you for the opportunity to talk together tonight.
Beth	thanks cathy for your help!
deb_capone	Thank you, Cathy. We couldn't do it without you.
tenayagirl2	thank you, cathy and deb. karen and aruna, i have tried to send u private messages
deb_capone	Join us next week at this time, when Dr. Gad Lavy discusses third party reproduction.
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deb_capone	My contact info is deb@theafa.org
deb_capone	Please feel free to contact me with any comments, suggestions and ways we can serve you better.
deb_capone	Good night all.
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International Adoption - Is it a good choice for you?

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