All professionals and participants in the process of sperm and egg donation approach the process of identity disclosure differently. I think that it will probably remain an individals decision instead of a uniform approcach as to how parents, donors and professionals operate regarding this personal issue.
One thing to consider on this topic is that even though someone helped you create your child by deciding to become a donor, the goal for them is that is your child. Egg donors don’t consider themselves mothers and sperm donors don’t consider themselves fathers. The reward for them is knowing that thier efforts helped someone achive a dream of parenthood, and the ability to forward thier own current goals in life with the financial benefits of the donation process.
Selecting a donor from a program with a comprehensive donor profile and a policy that you feel comfortable with regarding identity disclosure and providing it to your child early and accurately while using terminology that reflects of the role of a donor can help educate and inform your child about your family structure and the conception process of how they came to be in your family.
We have talked with our children from as early as they could remember about how we had the help of donors but that we are thier parents and we are one family.
Gail Taylor
