My husband and I are unsure of which route to take.  We would love to do it independently but are heistant about the costs that may occur as well as how to advertise since we think the laws in NJ do not allow us to do so.  We did see a general lawyer who has completed adoptions before but felt that we would need to find the birthmom which we aren’t sure where to begin.  We also like the agency since there is some level of protection if the birthmom backs out, however we are in a situation.  Most places set rates based on last year’s taxes and my husband lost his job in May.  What rate would we have to pay?  Thanks so much for any recommendations or suggestions.

In response to your inquiry, may I in the first instance indicate that in New Jersey you may do an independent adoption or an agency adoption.  Idependent adoptions give you more control over the situation and in many cases may be less costly.  Generally when doing an independent adoption you should work with an attorney who specializes in adoption law and will guide you on the procedures of locating a viable situation through advertising, networking, and the like.  Such an attorney should also be in a position to protect you from any potential adversity and to be sure that all legal requirements are met.  There are times where those adopting may locate a birth mother but process the adoption through a New Jersey Agency, which will add to the cost, but which will also bring about a termination of the parental rights after 72 hours.  If you are looking into signing up with an agency for the purpose of them locating an adoption situation for you, you should have an attorney read the agency agreement.  Many agencies do not go by a sliding scale but charge independently for a litany of thier services.  This may have you incur large sums of money upfront which may not be refundable.  In the final analysis, it would serve your interest to confer with an attorney who specializes in adoption and should be able to elaborate on the issues set forth above.  In any event, our best wishes to you.

Congratulations on your plan to adopt a baby!

The decision to adopt with the help of an attorney (often called “independent” adoption) or with the help of a licensed agency is a personal one, and there is no right or wrong way to proceed.  Any qualified adoption attorney or agency should be able to assist you with strategies or resources to find pregnant women who are contemplating placing their children for adoption.  Though advertising by private parties in some states is prohibited, many adopters-to-be search on a national level, and there are some states that are open to you and/or to your service provider for advertising.

If you do choose to work with an attorney, I recommend that he or she specialize in adoption, preferably as a professional member of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys.  You will also take advantage of the services offered by a licensed agency to do your homestudy and also to counsel and advise the birthmother and (if appropriate) the birthfather.

As for the question of birthparent consent, each state has different requirements.  If you adopt a baby from another state, you’ll need to work with your attorney or agency to make sure you comply with interstate regulations regarding adoptions.

It’s understandable that you (like all prospective adopters) are concerned about costs.  Around the country, there’s a fair amount of variation as to how service providers set their fees.  Some agencies work on a sliding scale based on client income.  Other providers offer a “menu” of services that you pay for as you go.  Still others charge an up-front retainer or initial fee, with the balance due later in the process.  It’s important to research and compare the fees of any service providers you’re interested in. It’s also important for you to budget for certain additional costs that might be unknown at the beginning of your process—such as maternity-related expenses and interstate travel and interstate adoption.  My experience is that most people adopting infants domestically pay in the range of $15,000 to $25,000 total for all their expenses, but there can be wide fluctuation (as low as $9,000, or up to $45,000 and higher), depending upon the circumstances.

Good luck to you!

Sara Lively, M.S.Ed., Independent Adoption Consultant & Coach
Adoption Paths
http://www.adoptionpaths.com

The adoption maze can be very complicated Different states have different rules. Many families adopt across state lines. All of these issues make the process more complicated. However you can reach out to parent support group in your area. Being around and talking to other families who have already adopted as well as those families already in the process will ease alot of the tension and perhaps make the path to adoption a lot clearer. The fall brings on several all day adoption conferences which allows you to meet and greet different attornies and agencies without having to pay consultation fees.. The road seems long and sometimes impossible but YOU CAN BE SUCCESSFUL Just a suggestion as a place to start adoptiveparents.org

Hi,Iam very thankful for this,Nice post,Thanks....

Washington Alcohol Addiction Treatment

The domestic adoption maze can be very complicated. Deciding to choose a domestic agency or to work independently with an attorney can seem complicated. Each way has its own problems and advantages. While the direction you choose is a personal choice,talking to other families that have gone either direction can be a large help. First make sure that the agency or the attorney are ones licensed to do adoptions in your state, Make sure that the person is not just a facilitator and is a legal ADOPTION attorney or agency . Not one that does this as a sideline.If you work with a agency make sure that you review the contract carefully and understand what your responsibilities are. Especially if you were to locate a situation on your own, Make sure you understand what happens to your money if either side changes their mind. That question also applies to the contract with the attorney. Again seek out support this is a difficult and emotional process Upcoming support meetings in NYC, Long Island and Weschester on September 20th http://www.adoptiveparents.org

Free Admission Into Family Matters NY 2008.

Hello, Everyone!  It’s Brian Armentrout, The AFA Communications Director.  Time is running out to sign-up for this year’s Family Matters NY Conference to be held October 5th at Steiner Studios in the Brooklyn Navy Yard.  We just received some very exciting news.  A sponsor has generously donated a scholarship to cover the cost of admission for 25 recipients.  To apply just e-mail your request to or call 888.917.3777.  Register today at our homepage at http://www.theafa.org and click on the Family Matters banner.  See you October 5th!

A great source of educational information will be the APC annual conference at Weill Medical College in Manhattan on Sun Nov 23 ck website http://www.adoptiveparents.org for registration costs and a list of the 85workshops on adoption being presented plus 45 exhibitors and a adoption bookstore