The American Fertility Association Blog
Adventures of a Thirty Something Married Man… at Manicures & Martinis San Francisco
June 10, 2009 - Wednesday
Posted by admin
A brilliant idea set forth and put into motion late last year by our Program Director (and frequent blogger) Corey Whelan. I must admit, at first, I was reluctant to support having the staff devote the time and energy necessary to make these things work. I was wrong, but then again…I’m a guy…who’s married…so I’m used to it. What guy is going to walk into a room full of people to discuss infertility? Chances are, I wouldn’t, and I know my buddies wouldn’t - instead we’d have a Bromantic getaway to the Rave 12 Cinemas to see The Hangover (great flick guys). I’m not a woman, so it’s hard for me to judge their perspective as it is for most husbands.
The AFA’s Manicures & Martinis Infertility Prevention Series targets young women; though anyone can attend…and they do. I had the honor and privilege of hosting Tuesday night’s event at Nova Nail Spa in San Francisco, where Dr. Marcelle Cedars of UCSF spoke to 37 young women and one man. That one man stood at the back of the house and observed. It wasn’t until the end he asked if I organized the event (don’t tell Corey I said “Yes”). After speaking with him for a few minutes he opened up. His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and the chemotherapy she went through probably harmed her ability to conceive a child naturally. The two already have a son. His wife was too shy to come; so he came for her - not wanting a manicure or martini, but simply three minutes with Dr. Cedars. He got it. Now that’s true love. Facing not a room of men talking about std’s, how hot tubs affect sperm, and the issue of why the testicles hang outside of the body, but rather a group of women talking about these exact topics…in detail nonetheless.
Dr. Cedars managed to captivate the crowd for a complete hour and fifteen minutes. Not a soul in the room let out a peep; some took notes; most asked questions. Questions ruled: ranging from exercising during pregnancy to whether endometriosis causes infertility to how ‘water tobacco’ affects fertility. This event was really like nothing I’ve ever seen. The only other Manicures & Martinis event I have attended was the debut event in Manhattan several months ago, but that was our first and we’ve learned and improved a lot since then. At this event, the attendees wouldn’t stop thanking me, praising Dr. Cedars (who stuck around for an extra full thirty minutes afterwards to answer personal questions, by the way), and asking when Manicures & Martinis would return to San Francisco. With the wait list in excess of 15, it’s probably safe to say we’ll be back. The one man, you ask? Well, he’s planning to tell his wife more about the event and is even considering the drive South to Laguna Niguel for our next event on Tuesday, June 16th, which is filling up. I promised to save two seats for him and his wife.
Clearly my ‘Manicure & Martini reluctance’ has completely diminished. The success of this program leads me to believe this series should hit every US city with a population of more than, let’s say…200,000. By the way, I managed to drag my wife to The Hangover last week and the answer is ‘Yes,’ I would absolutely attend Manicures & Martinis in her place. I might even go so far as to recommend guys attend this event of their own free will. Really.
If you haven’t been to Manicures & Martinis, please do. You’ll have the chance as it’s on the way to a city near you.
Brian Armentrout
Communications Director
Related Links:
Manicures & Martinis - Laguna Niguel - June 16th
Archived Twitter Updates from Tuesday Night’s Manicures & Martinis:
UCSF Center for Reproductive Health where Dr. Cedars practices
Nova Nail Spa where event was held
Categories
Family Building •
Fertility •
Fertility Preservation •
Infertility •
Reproductive Health
Brian, how wonderful it is that you were able to connect with the one other man in the room! I am sure he was grateful for this. Is it your Southern Hospitality or “just” the fact that you are an aware and sensitive guy who can reach out to others with compassion and care?
Carolyn
Brian, I appreciate your candor as a man in a room full of women - that is a hard time for most men. I think your perspective and your appearance was important - keep attending.
Congratulations on another great educational event by the AFA! Great work by all. The women and men of Los Angeles need an opportunity to hear about fertility issues too. I will help make this happen soon.
Guy
Brian:
Your outreach to the fellow who was “flying solo” is appreciated. This could be the start of something big for the “other gender.”
Bill
Thanks everyone!
Carolyn, unfortunately I can’t claim Southern Hospitality quite yet, as I’ve only been in the South for three years. I’m not sure what the time requirement is to officially become a Southerner.
Bill, this event has really opened my eyes for a need for a male factor infertility prevention program. I flew to LA yesterday and sat next to a Latino businessman on the plane who insisted on knowing more about Manicures & Martinis and what we have in store for men. He invited us to El Paso for an health fair September, which might be a great opportunity for an event there.
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Gee Brian, it’s hard to say what kept the room enrapt - Dr. Cedars (who is fabulous) or your baby blues (also fabulous!). Thanks for taking such amazingly good care of the women (and man) who attended our event. Laguna Niguel, LA, Philly, Boston, Seattle, DC - tell me which ones you want to run and they are yours!
Corey