The American Fertility Association Blog
My Sister’s Keeper
June 5, 2009 - Friday
Posted by admin
The very first book that I ever shared with my daughter Caitlin was My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult. This was very meaningful for me because my mother and I used to read books together all the time and it was so special for us, like being in a private book club for two. Much of our conversation was spent on things we were reading, and therefore sharing. So passing on that family tradition made me miss my mom, who died in 2002, a little less.
Family has always been the cornerstone of my life, so My Sister’s Keeper was an interesting choice for Caitlin and I; it is the story of a girl whose older sister has leukemia. Her parents, through the use of Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) conceive her not because they want another child, but because they need another child to be a donor for her sister, who is guaranteed to die if she does not have one.
I remember in the early days of controversy over PGD, I could never understand why this was objectionable. I always thought to myself that a person would feel special, and valuable, knowing that their life had enabled another person to live. That this was the best possible way to start out, as a hero. Especially if the person you were saving was a brother or a sister.
In many ways, I still feel that way. But the thing for me, that made this particular book so significant, was that it made me look at this situation through a completely different lens - the point of view of the person who is not only conceived to be a donor, but who lives their life at the level of donor. Someone who will be on call, always, to donate platelets, blood, organs even. Who spends tons of time in a hospital bed, or an operating room, even though they are not sick. Someone whose main reason for being is to keep someone else alive, to the exclusion of all else. And that for some, this could be devaluing instead of the other way around.
I never thought about it that way. And Caitlin and I spoke about it a lot.
I believe, still, that PGD is one of the most valuable contributions that has been made to the world, allowing people to avoid heart breaking situations and save children’s lives.
So the moral of this book for me, personally, is this. There is always a point of view that we don’t think of, or focus on, that someone else might feel. That no matter how strongly you hold a position or a belief, your point of view may be experienced differently by someone else. And that all points of view have value, and deserve to be heard. I was grateful for that reminder. And I was grateful to be able to share that with my child. I think my mom would agree.
Corey Whelan
Program Director
The American Fertility Association
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Corey, I too felt the same way when I read this book. I had long felt that PGD for this purpose was an honorable one; however, the author really lets us see how this decision on behalf of the parents affects so many people in so many different ways. I truly hope with the movie coming out this month, more people will be exposed to what PGD is and what it is all about. I will admit, however, that I am afraid of some backlash. But, I am all for education, and information is power.