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The American Fertility Association Blog
Riverdale, and Auschwitz
May 21, 2009 - Thursday
Posted by Corey
I am not a great friend. Being a workaholic by nature and loving my job, makes me devote a really ridiculous amount of time to my desk and my humble little computer. But I’m also a sort of lucky person so people tend to hang in there with me, for whatever reason, even if I don’t tend to our friendships nearly as much as they deserve me to.
Anyway. After about a gazillion years of friendship, in conversation with one of my bff’s, Caroline, I found out recently that her mom survived the concentration camps of Europe - twice - by jumping off the transport train. Well actually once her dad pushed her off because she was too afraid to jump. I mean after all, she was only eleven. And then the second time, she did jump, all on her own. Brave girl. Can you imagine jumping off the roof of a speeding train? So Caroline’s mom never went to Auschwitz, instead she lived in the forest, and ate grass, and eventually made it here, and gave birth to my friend.
Caroline’s story kept circling around my brain today because of the thwarted bombing attempt on two synagogues in Riverdale that we found out about in today’s news. This really hit home for me as I hope it did for everyone reading this, because it truly was a close call for us all.
And then, I started thinking about my Aunt Golda. I never met her, because she wasn’t as lucky as Caroline’s mom. My Aunt Golda, I’m named for her, by the way. My Aunt Golda did not survive the Nazis. I have a photo of her that I love. I’ve written everything I know about her on the back of it, in case someone who doesn’t know us comes across it someday.
And this is what I think about sometimes. Who would my cousins have been if Golda had lived? Who was never born, who did I never know? Who did I never love? Who do I miss, in my heart, anyway? Even though we have never met.
And of course, since I am who I am, I started to think about being an infertility patient, which is what I used to be. I started to think about all the babies that never get conceived.
You know what I remember? I truly felt love for my babies, years before I conceived them. I think I started loving them as soon as I allowed myself to want them.
Maybe because I needed to. Maybe that was the strength that I needed to keep giving myself those damn needles every day.
It’s like a phantom limb, the love for those who do not exist. Real, but not real. And you never forget that wanting. And you never forget that love.
Corey Whelan
Program Director
The American Fertility Association
Categories
Infertility
wow Corey—I am really moved—thank you. And it all makes me realize how lucky, and i mean lucky in the purest sense of the word, that I am here and so are my kids—because there was an awful lot of luck involved. I too also wonder about people I have never met because of the holocaust like my grandmother, my mother’s mom, who was not as luck as my mom and her father.
Corey, I know that this may seem strange coming from me since we work together, but I had to comment in public to tell you how moved I was by this post. I’ve sent it to more friends than I can count, because the truth that it contains is timeless.
Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Ken
Very moving story; thanks for sharing. I feel the same when I think about my son, who was the result of my 12th IVF cycle (yes, that’s not a typo—TWELFTH). My 3-y.o. son is the only son, of an only son, of an only child, of 2 Holocaust survivors. I wonder about how many thousands of 2nd, 3rd, and 4th cousins he would have had if not for the Nazi war machine which killed most of my father-in-law’s family in the concentration camps of eastern Europe. My son’s birth was purposeful, and it reminds me daily of the power of determination to overcome tremendous odds.
DJ
Thanks to all of you for reading, and for sharing. Here’s to life!
Thank you very much…
This is really good sharing.this is really awesome article.
Really Inspiring Article. Thanks a lot for sharing.
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You are a beautiful person and glad to call you my friend!
Thank you for sharing your story!
xoxo
D