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The American Fertility Association Blog
Is The AFA pro abortion?
August 28, 2008 - Thursday
Posted by Ken
“Is The AFA pro abortion?” That was the first question posed by one of our long-time supporters who was taken aback by a term that I had recently used: “reproductive choice.”
She’s a thoughtful person, so we were able to have a really good conversation about this topic. I shared with her that from our perspective “reproductive choice” spans all of the options when considering family building. It begins with real, accurate and age-appropriate sex education, including abstinence education and discussions of STD’s, and easy access to low cost or free contraception.
We know from a study done in Denmark and published in 2003 that because the Danes educate their children in this fashion, Danish teenagers, as compared to their American counterparts, engage in sex at a later age and with fewer partners. We also know that teen pregnancies are lower and there are far fewer abortions. Knowledge, it would seem, does equal power.
Beyond this real education and access to contraception, The AFA supports stem cell research, because at this time, it is apparent that stem cell research is the most effective way to create a breakthrough in finding the cures for many diseases and disabilities.
We support the right of all loving people to create a family, including those who are single, gay or lesbian, because we believe that families in all their diverse forms, strengthen society. We also know from the extensive study done by the American Pediatric Association that the children of gay and lesbian parents fare just as well as the children of straight parents. It seems that good parenting is the deciding factor in raising good children! That’s why our website is loaded with useful information about fertility preservation, reproductive health and family building. It’s why we offer a complete range of support services. It’s why we advocate for your rights every day of the week.
We support universal health care, including pre- and post-natal care for all women. We support providing real options for women, especially young girls, who are faced with unwanted pregnancies and need a way out. Access to trained therapists and the “adoption option” are essential for this to work.
We do not support legislation, such as Amendment 48 in Colorado that would ascribe all legal and constitutional rights of personhood to an embryo “at the point of conception.” The effects of the amendment passing would be, among other things, to open the door to government interference in infertility treatments and stem cell research. Similarly, if a woman was diagnosed with cancer while pregnant, she could be denied treatment because it might endanger the fetus. And, perhaps most chillingly, all abortions would be illegal. If a woman was raped or was the victim of incest, there would be no recourse to abortion. If it was determined that the fetus was hopelessly deformed, there would again be no recourse to abortion.
Which brings us back to where we started. No, The AFA is not “pro abortion.” Our hope is that the need and requests for pregnancy terminations become increasingly rare, but always remain safe and legal. So, yes, we do support “reproductive choice” and everything that entails.
The woman who called me concluded our conversation by saying that the topic was bigger than she could get her head around. And indeed it is. But we’re doing our best to make the information accessible and understandable. And ultimately, we’re here to walk with you on your journey, by educating you about your options, helping you to ask the difficult questions, assisting you in making the tough decisions, and finally supporting the choices you make.
Best,
Ken Mosesian
Acting Executive Director
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JCCA - Jewish Child Care Association
August 26, 2008 - Tuesday
Posted by admin
I was 9 years old when I was placed at Pleasantville Cottage School as an “emergency placement.” I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a Wednesday, I remember, because I was wearing my Assembly Day outfit; a white button-down shirt, a plaid blue-and-red wool skirt, white tights and flat shoes. These were the clothes I would wear for the next two weeks.
My grandmother picked me up at school earlier than was normal that day. I remember thinking that it was strange and found out later that my mother had been notified by Child Welfare that they were coming that day. When my grandmother and I got home we found the Child Welfare people already there with my mother and younger sister. My memory is a bit sketchy but I mostly remember how I felt—scared and confused. It happened so fast. One minute, the Child Welfare lady is asking me questions, and the next, my sister and I are at their Bronx office building. We were there until late that night and then my sister and I were separated. She was placed at St. Christopher’s in Queens and I was placed at Pleasantville Cottage School (PCS). Even though I was only 9 years old, I knew why we were taken away from our mother.
I can almost pinpoint when my life changed. It was the day my mother decided to marry my stepfather. He was a drug addict and though everyone told my mother so, she decided not to believe it. It wasn’t long after they were married that she too became a drug addict, and pregnant. My sister was born mentally challenged and soon after her birth, my mother and stepfather split up.
My mother’s drug addiction ruled our lives. She would sleep all day and I was left to take care of my sister. At night she would leave us for hours to go and get her next fix. Sometimes she would take us with her to Hunts Point drug spots. I preferred being left alone with my sister in our apartment. At least I felt safer.
During that time I didn’t go to school much. It became my responsibility to look after my sister and so at 7 years old, I barely knew how to read or write. The days I did go to school were always filled with trepidation. When my mother was in her drug-induced sleep there was no waking her. After school I was left pounding on the apartment door trying to wake her up and let me in. I always ended up falling asleep outside the apartment door and would be out there at least until 7 pm, when she would wake up and notice I wasn’t there. I don’t know how my sister survived when I wasn’t around. For 2 years I went through this. I guess my neighbors had had enough of seeing me sleeping in front of my door, so that is one of the reasons I was taken away from my mother. Another is because she would go into rages and beat me. Sometimes I would go to school with bruises and a busted lip. It wasn’t too hard to figure out why I was taken away from my mother.
My first two weeks at PCS were spent in respite—wearing the same clothes. After that, I was transferred to Cottage 14 and taken to the maintenance building to get clothes from what was called “The Clothing Room.” My “emergency placement” became a permanent placement that lasted 12 years. My years at PCS offered me consistency and security. Eventually my mother became drug free and I was given the choice to go back to her. I chose to stay at PCS. It wasn’t a decision that I regretted because a few years later my mother went back on drugs. I guess deep down I knew it was going to happen and I wanted to keep the stability I already had.
I graduated from high school and went to college to complete my associate’s degree. After I turned 21 and moved out on my own, I still had the support from people at PCS, which continues to this day. Through their scholarship program, JCCA has given me the opportunity to go back to school to complete my BA. And through the Sokoloff Fund, I am able to continue my therapy work with a doctor at PCS. When I turned 22 my mother passed away. It was the hardest time in my life and having my therapist there to help me through it meant the world to me. I wouldn’t be where I am today if JCCA didn’t offer me these opportunities.
People assume that you can just open an agency and kids will have better lives. Everyone looks at this agency as the answer to problem children and puts the total responsibility on it. But no one knows what it takes to work with troubled teens. There will always be a few out of the many who will make something of themselves. Maybe a few is not considered enough, but in the scheme of things, those few should be looked at as a success beyond the odds. We all have the choice to be what we want to be despite how bad our childhood was. Be proud that the kids who did make it through could not have done it without Pleasantville. I know I wouldn’t have.
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The year 1960
August 22, 2008 - Friday
Posted by Corey
1960
I keep thinking about Ruby Bridges. A six year old face, so afraid but so stoic. I remember her jacket, her pressed dress, the bows in her hair. Flanked by federal marshals who had to escort that little black girl into a now desegregated school so that she could get an education. In the American South. Not that the North was much better. Three years later, 1963, that year means a lot of things to a lot of people. Does anyone remember that in 1963 the then Governor of Alabama, George Wallace, used his own body to block two black students from entering the University of Alabama? Let’s make sure we stop “them” from trying to have the same rights as “us”.
I keep thinking about Ruby. I keep remembering her face. Because of this week. The board of directors and staff of The AFA dared to tell the truth about Honda of Alabama. Some of us have been getting anonymously harassed. In our homes, where our children live with us. By voices on the phone, men and women, evidentally hate has no gender. Sometimes in the middle of the night. By nasty emails. By prejudiced, hate filled people who want to know if we are “God fearing”.
So funny to me. It’s still 1960. Except that those who love to hate have found a new “them”. Let’s not let gay people love and have families. How dare they have the same rights as “us”.
Let me tell you something right now. Not on my watch. Maybe we can help you learn compassion, love and truth. Maybe not. But we will not let you bully those who wish to raise families and share their love.
Best always,
Corey Whelan
The AFA
Director of Developement
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Who Decides Who Should Be a Parent?
August 21, 2008 - Thursday
Posted by BrianA
Who Decides Who Should Be a Parent?
Shocked. Disbelief. Appalled. Amazed. Furious. These are just a few of the emotions that I experienced when I read one of my patients explanation of insurance benefits who is an employee of Honda Manufacturing of Alabama. “Benefits for fertility treatment and ART are limited to a lifetime maximum payment of $30,000.00. Good news! She has excellent coverage. But as I read on, “Effective January 1, 2008, Honda Manufacturing of Alabama requests that Blue Cross and Blue Shield exclude domestic partners (same sex partners) from ART benefits including diagnostic services related to fertility/infertility that have a fertility or infertility diagnosis”. Why would an employer exclude a specific segment of the population from fulfilling their dream and a basic inherent human right of having a family?
As one of the world’s leading automobile manufacturers and a company on the leading edge of technology, how can Honda be so backward in providing healthcare benefits? Clearly, this is discrimination! They claim to be an “Equal Opportunity Employer”, and therefore claim to conform to the Civil Service Reform Act (CSRA) of 1978. This act prohibits discriminating for or against employees or applicants for employment on the bases of race, color, national origin, religion, sex, age or disability, as well as attributes or conduct that do not adversely affect employee performance, such as marital status and political affiliation. The Office of Personnel Management has interpreted this to include sexual orientation, as well. Clearly, they are not in compliance! Why do they feel they own the power to decide who should or should not be a parent? Are they going to stamp sexual orientation on the insurance cards?
Interestingly, two other related issues hit the news media this week. The California Supreme Court reached a unanimous verdict that physicians cannot use their religious beliefs as grounds to deny infertility treatment to gay and lesbian patients. And, singer Ricky Martin announced the birth of twin sons that were born with the assistance of a gestational surrogate.
Perhaps Honda would benefit from reading the news and sticking to making cars instead of being judge and jury for those who want to be parents.
Karen R. Hammond, MSN, CRNP
-Secretary and Past Chair, AFA Board of Directors
-Ob/Gyn Nurse Practitioner, Alabama Fertility Specialists
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“Fags Like You”
August 20, 2008 - Wednesday
Posted by Lisa
I’ve been the help line coordinator for The AFA for three years now, people call me for support and information when they need help. I’m happy to be the voice that they hear when they need to reach out and connect with a person who understands. I think I bring compassion to my job; I hope so.
For what it’s worth, I’m also a heterosexual woman, I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter and a nutty puppy named Cooper. I guess you would say we’re a typical family.
But the man on the phone today, the anonymous angry voice who yelled at me for ten seconds and then hung up without any interest in my response, didn’t know any of that. This man told me that he holds a blue cross blue shield insurance policy and he is thrilled with Honda’s discriminatory stand against LGBT patients. He said to me, “We have to do everything we can to stop FAGS LIKE YOU from having families.”
He has a right to voice his opinion, but I wish he had done it with the benefit of his full name, without screaming, and without assumptions. It never occurred to him, I guess, that straight people might feel differently than he does. He made me afraid to do my job today. That kind of fanaticism is scary about any issue. It’s the kind of fanaticism that makes people fly planes into buildings. I wish it didn’t have an effect on me, but it did.
Best always,
Lisa Van Ness
Development Associate
The AFA
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